Can you overdose on anxiety and exhaustion? I came pretty close Had to be resuscitated by love and strength Had to bring me back to life Had to bring me back to focus Had to remind myself Stress is not my identity Anxiety does not define me "I don't ever wanna feel like I did… Continue reading Coatlicue Calling
First day. First class. First nerves. First questions. How early is too early to get to class? Fifteen? Twenty? Thirty minutes? Lista to camp out in front of the classroom. Mami always said, "Nunca llegues tarde al escuela." I'll figure it out. The professor must’ve seen through my “perfect student” mask. Can I ask a… Continue reading Hidden Curriculum I
Gentle hands caressing the hair of my future generations, their heads gently laying in my lap, tears wetting my legs. They're safe. Whimpers and fears falling down their cheeks, they wonder if they're strong enough for this. They're safe. They tell me they're unsure they tell me they're afraid. I tell them they're safe. They… Continue reading I’m Here
I hesitate to tell this story, to share with the world the last conversation I ever had with my father. I have told some people, but to really put it out to the world? I think I am afraid if I tell the world, the world will hold me accountable to what he said. You… Continue reading My Father’s Last Request
Mmmm This moon has got me feeling high Natrurally high Full of energy Craving cocoa goddesses food Singing at the top of my lungs Wanting to run Needing to dance As I shed what I no longer need And create new energy Full of positive thoughts I create my intentions To further my love Of… Continue reading Energía Luna
TW: Mention of Suicide In order to find peace of mind, one must lose it first… I never imagined I’d be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder... But I know I have never been okay. When people ask me where home is, I don’t know what direction to turn to. I don’t even know who… Continue reading Está Bien No Estar Bien
I couldn’t ignore her voice. The one that got louder and louder each day. The one that yelled through as I drowned her out. In hopes to make her quieter and quieter. But she only got more creative. She crawled through my bones— making a home in my left hip. Reminding me every day that… Continue reading De Regreso
The church pews have been replaced. This is a slight shock to me. Tomorrow is the baptism, leaving me, the madrina, to meet with the church staff to make sure no one sits up front except us and the rest of the family. I imagine holding baby Cecile, not even a month old, and losing… Continue reading Where You Sit In Church Says A Lot About You
Baños, Ecuador, Jan 2008 I’m sitting alone in a coffee shop in Baños, Ecuador with my tablet, notebook and pen watching the rainfall. It’s a gloomy morning just like the previous days and the atmosphere is both calm and chaotic. People are rushing in trying to stay warm and dry. And then there’s me, with… Continue reading Travel Diary: One Coffee and an Epiphany to Go
I Mamá chiquita plays naked in the arroyo while the women wash clothes downstream. She dips her small hands in, then out of crystal-clear water. They become smooth, like the silver stones at her feet. She imagines herself being fully transformed by the moving stream, her skin now glittering under the midmorning sun. Sparking energy… Continue reading Her Three Reflections
