Ofrendas

Está Bien No Estar Bien

TW: Mention of Suicide

In order to find peace of mind, one must lose it first…

         I never imagined I’d be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder…

But

I know I have never been okay.

When people ask me where home is,

I don’t know what direction to turn to.

I don’t even know who I am.

I know my parents have always done what they could so that I may live a happy life,

But sometimes

When I contemplate suicide,

And cut my thighs,

And attempt to strangle myself,

I wish my madre linda wouldn’t tell me to suck it up.

I know this is supposed to be a piece about protection, grounding, and falling gently,

But this is my reality;

This is what I live every single day.

People say that there’s always a rainbow after every storm,

But I think they tend to forget that it doesn’t minimize the destruction it caused;

And I somehow,

someway

Have made peace with that.

I’m okay with not being okay.

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