| We offer as ofrendas our creative writing, our poems, personal essays, short stories, our dreams, and our visions. These are for you our ancestors, our offerings for healing and radical self love. |
Unmothering
I inform the madres that I will not mother, while my kneelocked nerves shake. They mourn the unconceived. Not a henbasket of eggs. I will not bust my breast to feed feed feed breakfast to chickchildren that will never be. My days spent with the click-clucking of a clock that has no biological argument with…
Who’s Watching
I spend time alone in the dark loving myself feeling emotions Turned on by the vulnerability of those I am watching Setting a private moment with a private browser to watch a private movie with sexy secrets an unspoken fantasy and attraction to unruled and freely expressed pleasure But when I am hiding to touch…
fine dining
let’s start with drinks, that are our kisses which temporarily quench our thirst. we move on to the appetizer, engaging in foreplay, teasing each other because we’re insatiable. my breasts are your first plate, plump for you to have your first bite, brushing your tongue on my hard nipples. i take you in my mouth,…
Phased
I felt the spirits calling “The rain is coming this way.” How do you know? he asked because gravity was beginning to pull and I was beginning to sway “Those clouds over there are getting darker…” I didn’t say it was because I could feel it stirring inside me storm clouds growing, gathering at my…
Chingona Recovery Chronicles
I was a sad girl before I would drink and drink till I passed out But sad girl am I no more They called me a chingona, pero inside I was still triste. I thought I’d find the solution to todas mis problemas at the bottom of the Miller lite can Pero The answers never…
I Am
I am all woman Hear me roar Feel the ground move as I glide Hips going and flowing Side to stride My body is the ocean If you drown That’s on you My waves aren’t meant to be small I cannot downplay the truth You see As the sea I no longer struggle Effortlessly being…
Music, Movement, CLIMAX
When the music starts my body moves… The beat dictates the way my body responds. And when it’s my JAM there is an excited twerk then my body starts to match the beat. Oh and when that bump and grind music comes. My hips start to wind, my body starts to roll, my butt starts to…
THE ARRIVAL
I dig for Pieces of my heart That I buried To keep myself safe As cold earth flies through the air I’m reminded of childhood Where I buried myself in the sand To feel warm and hugged Keep this part of me safe, Pachamama I’ll be back in the spring As tree limbs stretch out …
Uncertainty
My eyes can’t see The emptiness so big Others guide me I don’t know the path I’m sinking Struggling against the tide Fighting for certainity In an ocean filled with fiction I’m seeking reason My voice blends With an uncanny whisper Fear speaks to my vanity Soon, the sobs, They morph into waves And… Im…
Mi Casa
All my life I’ve craved love I yearned for a void in me to be filled A place to feel safe and seen When your love found me the fear clouded my happiness I spent years running from a love A love I felt unworthy of I never knew happiness could exist like this I…
Manifest for a Young Artista
I am a poet I am a woman I am a body possessed with spirits. I am encapsulating a million different avenues of creation. I am becoming angelic, monarchic- unfurling my gossamer wings. I will achieve the dreams of a million young me’s. I will dream new dreams for the young me’s whose time will…
Lista Para Sanar
Una tormenta Lluvia cristalina Lista para sanar Lista pa’ celebrar. Una muxer Sirena al nacer Nada a su anden Nada con su ser. Energía continua Siempre evolucionando Re-creando pasos Re-creando espacios. Una chispa Brinca – danzón Baila al conpaz Baila al mas allá. Fuego alumbra En llamas, pasión Nueva leña Nuevo encanto. Agüas infinitas Rodean…
Rooted
Hay días que requieren Excavar Buscar Y recordar El ser que era Antes que el mundo Habia interferido Descending to the Sacred fortress I go Amparando me De raices De otro mundo Tan profundo Que te llevan A todos los ayer-es Tlatlauhtia Means Prayer In Nahuatl Language that was stolen From my Tongue But not…
Womb
Her sun kissed hand delicately places an owl feather on top of white embroidered linen Marigold and rose petals float through the air landing on sticky honey dipped apples Gusts of wind caress the house Shadows dance with wafts of cinnamon incense smoke Black and white pictures of ancestors frozen in time speak untold stories…
Visions From Mictlán: A Journey Into the Abyss
I want a life I don’t dread waking up to. I am still processing the last 2 years. I am still adjusting to my new home. I have to acknowledge where I really am. I am still trying my best to be a good parent, but don’t know what the right thing to do is.…
Turquoise Serpent
She did not fight or flee, to survive the fawn froze ~*~ Turquoise serpent winds my way turns at an ankle, rises round a thigh now upon my shoulders, a lethal shawl my arms extend lightly feet plant in warrior stance the north wind enters and the dance begins slowly, she wraps around my torso…
Untitled
Father comes over. I show him a book. Written in Mixteco and Spanish. I ask if he could read it in dialecto. He tries and says there are many regions and many dialects. He tries and says no. His dialect Zapoteco Is different. We sit and talk about language. We always talk about language. I…
Reflections in an Isle of Yarn
I am standing in the craft store searching for the exact green used by my Abuelita. She has been making Christmas stockings for all the kids in the family since I was a baby. She even made one for my partner when he and I were married. She made them for my first two children,…
Sacrament
The merciful line up before god eyes downcast pebbles underneath their tongues They offer dirt, glass and the blood dried in the grooves of their soles Sun cuts through stained glass ignites the perfume and gold marking division The priest appears a shadowed figure draped in silk his words pierce the gathered and leave no…
We Are Medicine
Abuelita’s songs of loss and solitude bathe her in ceremonial sound marigolds tremble nearby Mama’s fiery prayers for deliverance vibrate from her heart center onto her children’s skin My sharpened pencil picks colonial locks out flutters truth in sparkling flames ancestor’s ashes rest
A Moonlight Toast to the Women who Raised Me
Queridas Mom, Nana, On the eve of Día de los Muertos, I imagine you in two wicker chairs, positioned outside a beachside house that overlooks the shores of Luquillo. You’re drinking coffee, decaf as always, made sickly sweet with caramel creamer. The soft breeze delivers a chill. You hug your bodies tighter in your shawls. …
Coatlicue Calling
Can you overdose on anxiety and exhaustion? I came pretty close Had to be resuscitated by love and strength Had to bring me back to life Had to bring me back to focus Had to remind myself Stress is not my identity Anxiety does not define me “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did…
Hidden Curriculum I
First day. First class. First nerves. First questions. How early is too early to get to class? Fifteen? Twenty? Thirty minutes? Lista to camp out in front of the classroom. Mami always said, “Nunca llegues tarde al escuela.” I’ll figure it out. The professor must’ve seen through my “perfect student” mask. Can I ask a…
I’m Here
Gentle hands caressing the hair of my future generations, their heads gently laying in my lap, tears wetting my legs. They’re safe. Whimpers and fears falling down their cheeks, they wonder if they’re strong enough for this. They’re safe. They tell me they’re unsure they tell me they’re afraid. I tell them they’re safe. They…
My Father’s Last Request
I hesitate to tell this story, to share with the world the last conversation I ever had with my father. I have told some people, but to really put it out to the world? I think I am afraid if I tell the world, the world will hold me accountable to what he said. You…
Energía Luna
Mmmm This moon has got me feeling high Natrurally high Full of energy Craving cocoa goddesses food Singing at the top of my lungs Wanting to run Needing to dance As I shed what I no longer need And create new energy Full of positive thoughts I create my intentions To further my love Of…
Está Bien No Estar Bien
TW: Mention of Suicide In order to find peace of mind, one must lose it first… I never imagined I’d be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder… But I know I have never been okay. When people ask me where home is, I don’t know what direction to turn to. I don’t even know who…
De Regreso
I couldn’t ignore her voice. The one that got louder and louder each day. The one that yelled through as I drowned her out. In hopes to make her quieter and quieter. But she only got more creative. She crawled through my bones— making a home in my left hip. Reminding me every day that…
Where You Sit In Church Says A Lot About You
The church pews have been replaced. This is a slight shock to me. Tomorrow is the baptism, leaving me, the madrina, to meet with the church staff to make sure no one sits up front except us and the rest of the family. I imagine holding baby Cecile, not even a month old, and losing…
Travel Diary: One Coffee and an Epiphany to Go
Baños, Ecuador, Jan 2008 I’m sitting alone in a coffee shop in Baños, Ecuador with my tablet, notebook and pen watching the rainfall. It’s a gloomy morning just like the previous days and the atmosphere is both calm and chaotic. People are rushing in trying to stay warm and dry. And then there’s me, with…
Her Three Reflections
I Mamá chiquita plays naked in the arroyo while the women wash clothes downstream. She dips her small hands in, then out of crystal-clear water. They become smooth, like the silver stones at her feet. She imagines herself being fully transformed by the moving stream, her skin now glittering under the midmorning sun. Sparking energy…
Go Fly
Become a moment in a different time Go fly Among feelings of rest At home in the body Into the folds of their freedom Flying over ourstory Golden gliding feathers Feelings of rest would manifest a silence Flying over ourstory Over a land I already know Feelings of rest would manifest insight Of…
Ofrenda
Mujer I am the daughter of the 5th Sun Looking for the promised one Ven a mi I am the everlasting weeping willow tree resembling your abuela bearing infinite rings of wisdom Escucha me I am the mother of the earth Nourishing Replenishing the hole Tu madre A brisk breeze Before the storm A carefree…
Silver Owl
I welcome the guide of the highest truth and compassionTo take me with you tonight I’ve lost sight and all Passion Sitting on the corner of my bedAll hope was lostI stared at the wall Nothing I saidNothing at all I laid my head back, my attention to the ceilingI said “Please take me now, I…
Diosa: A Liberation Prayer
I am a saint.⠀ I am a sinner.⠀ I am a queen.⠀ Powerful, like one hand open, ready to receive; the other, a clenched fist, ready to strike if necessary.⠀ I am a fighter; the end all be all.⠀ I am like a rose, beautiful and sharp when touched without permission. ⠀ I don’t pray…
Body Issues
Listen, I have body issues. I have an issue with how my body is watched, judged, and spoken about.⠀⠀⠀⠀ I have an issue with how my body is policed and taxed simply because I happen to be born with a uterus. I have an issue with how most store-bought clothes don’t fit my long and…
Primera Avenida – La Casa de Adobe – Guatemala
Un recuerdo de Magda Dubon-McSparran I could see my Abuelita Juana from a distance as I walked up the cobblestone street. She stood at the front door of her home with her arms crossed. She was tall and thin. She wore a tailored dress made from a floral fabric that my father sent to her…
First Position
She held onto the barre next to her, making sure not to grip too tightly. Holding her breath as she waited for the movement to begin. Shoulders down, chin up, ribs in. Soft hands, soft gaze. Make it look easy. In that moment- between one heartbeat and the next- she felt stillness. A stillness that…
Dreaming, Healing and Liberation
Healing Through Dreamwork For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a soñadora. No, not like the novela. I mean an active dreamer. I thought everyone was because I remember being a little girl and listening to my abuelita and mami talking about their dreams. Sometimes they’d wake up in the middle of…
Salsa de Chisme, de Mi Querida Abuela
My mom was there and my dad was there. we were in this place, it was very warm and there was a tint of amber. I couldn’t see who was speaking, but someone told us that they were going to wake up Abuelo and Abuela. I was confused because they had both passed on. but…
Set Magia Free
Magia is living breathing particles of lights that exist in our blood that has been able to break reality with unexplainable events that only happen in books or in one’s wild imagination. Like when a rose grows from concrete or putting emotion while making food so much so one can experience this emotion by consuming…
Ancestral Guidance from the Plant Realm
A month ago I had a conversation with friends about their origin stories in dance. One mentioned the first bodily acknowledgment of this affinity happened when they got goosebumps from hearing music. Of course, this person did not expect dance to touch their life so strongly, nor did they necessarily choose the circumstances that introduced…
Chicana
Brown but not Brown Enough My tongue does not roll with flame Sorry “No habla espanol” Born here and my parents are the same We have different fights but still just as tough I am Mexican I am American I am Chicana No more Judgement No more Shame Our ancestors are one in the sa …
A letter to a loved one
Although I never met you in the physicalI knew you through your sisters, brother in law, and all of the family I have the pleasure of knowingThrough your family I have learned so muchabout life and cherishing every day and momentand I can only hope to aspire to reach an internal state of tranquility and…
You Lied
Too many times to count. I believed each and every line you said to me. I drank them all up. You were water And I was parched. Your lies showered me Covered me in a blanket And tucked me into bed My gut tugging at me to wake up But I was warm It wasn’t…
Before
I was your favorite “A work of art …” the way you looked at me .. carefully examining each layer like I was a masterpiece . A puzzle waiting to be discovered . Piece by piece .. you’d take me apart . And I loved it .. the rush .. the suspense .. your presence…
After
I decided to love myself The kind you hear about in books But this time, I did the work. I searched inward – Began to question messages , observed actions. I filled my empty spaces.. I dug out the poison and planted seeds of love. I was becoming whole. My mind detoxed; Who is…
Open
Keep them closed you say My lips My tears My legs Unless They are put around…to agree or swallow Let out a river…to beg Opened wide…so you can take Until you are the one pleased and in possession. What if I choose To put my lips around my words and shout my truths To cry…
Nuestro
Without fear, nuestro hogar sería a standing (in)vitation. Loss and grief would be welcome in nuestro hogar. We would share food at a table we built with nuestras manos, from trees our grandparents planted. Without fear, está lo sagrado, nuestro sagrado.
she told me
she doesn’t want to write of heartbreak anymore she doesn’t want sorrow to be the topic she knows best she wants to forget about the darkest room of her soul – the place where her pen and paper help build a window to escape she doesn’t want to write about the rainy days or the…
La semilla
Somos pobres, somos ricos,Somos ricos, somos pobres.El peso cae encima. Me entrego a mi voz profunda.Encrucijada, sentada con la viejitaCon su reboso negro,Escucho su lamento.Que por sorpresa sale de mi boca, Somos ricos, somos pobres,Somos pobres, somos ricos.El peso cae encima. La viejita me encaminaEntre milpa.Mija, entierra el cuento,Me dice.Que por sorpresa sale de mi…
mi hada madrina vive en Tijuana
en un apartamento pequeño que luce cojines extravagantes pinturas con tonos de joyas y un gato blanco que le gusta cuando canta opera mi hada madrina luce uñas acrílicas cuando maneja el autobus que me lleva a la escuela mi hada madrina vive desplazada de un hogar estable me saluda cuando camino al mandado y…
