By Natalie Castillo
Me, being a daughter to a woman born and raised in Mexico City, I have a lot of knowledge on the subject of Mexican mother and American daughter relationships. Surprisingly though, I have never thought about it until reading the short stories and articles in class this semester. It really opened up the way I saw things and it even made me understand my own mother a bit more.
The first article I want to include is titled, “Mothering Across Borders: Narratives of Immigrant Mothers in the United States” by Heather Hewett really explained to me more in detail about what it is like being a Latin mother in the United States. This article by Hewett highlights the difficulties of Mexican immigrant mothers. They bring up the idea of “transnational motherhood.” According to the Wiley Online Library, “[t]ransnational motherhood refers to immigrant mothers from poorer countries who relocate to wealthier countries in search of better life chances and, in doing so, leave their children behind in their native countries.” I, personally, have never heard of this term before, but I wanted to talk about this side of motherhood. The side where they make so many sacrifices, like leaving their home or even their own kid, just to provide for us. It is rarely talked about, but the amount of sacrifices they make is unimaginable. We tend to forget about it and take it for granted. The term transnational motherhood really resonated with me because while I was born here in the States, when my parents crossed over, they had to make the sacrifice of leaving their two older sons in Mexico with my relatives. I never really understood or appreciated that fact: leaving their sons in another country to find a better life for their future and their future kids. It made me appreciate my mother for doing something so selfless to make sure I get the life that I wanted and deserved.
The next article I will be introducing into my submission is “Finding the Bicultural Balance: Immigrant Latino Mothers Raising ‘American’ Adolescents” by Yolanda Quinones-Mayo and Patricia Dempsey. I related to this article a lot because it explains the cultural difference of a Latina mother raising an American adolescent. This article mentioned the word “clash” and I believe that’s the best way to explain the two. Being born in America, we grow up knowing our rights and learning about the freedom that comes with being a United States citizen. Latina mothers have grown up with a different mindset, and that is to be more careful and cautious because of the situation and place where they grew up. Therefore, this is where the misunderstanding is. The article even says that growing up with a traditional family can result in a “difficult, if not toxic, environment.” Personally, my mother and I have had many clashes and “headbutting” in life. It made it difficult for us to understand each other growing up, especially in my teenage years. I could not comprehend why I was not able to go out with my friends on a Friday night, but my older brother was able to stay over at a friend’s house for the whole weekend. It wasn’t until I grew up and moved out for college that we were able to have a civil and respectful conversation about why she said the things she said. Being older now, I thanked her and told her how much I appreciated what she did for me. At the end of the day, all she worried about was my safety. Just like I heard her out, she was able to hear me out, and apologized for the way she said these things.
People always tend to forget how different the two countries are, no matter how much we are raised as if our parents were still there. We need to remind ourselves that our mothers had to adapt to a whole new world for a better future for us. I mentioned the idea of how difficult it is for the mother-daughter relationship to survive when daughters grow up in a place with so much freedom and availability, while their own mothers didn’t have that. It can lead to the relationship being on thin ice due to misunderstanding or even jealousy. My biggest takeaway from this assignment and this course is to have a little bit of patience and understanding for my mother. Asforementioned, it is our mothers’ first time living in the United States. We need to treat them with kindness, as well as be open to having difficult conversations with them, if it comes to that.
