|We are here for your questions!. Mija, says la luna, what is on your heart? Digame|
I am having a severe case of imposter syndrome. After years of being unhappy with my career & aimlessly searching, I’m pretty sure I narrowed it down to one. I’ve been reading about this specific career for years & I’ve even found the perfect program that will set me up for success. I am certain I want to do this. I have tried all the engagement content about the program, read the person’s book, blog & reviews yet I haven’t signed up.
I finally figured out that imposter syndrome & not believing in my abilities is what is stopping me from moving forward. But that hasn’t helped me get started.
I’m stuck & desperate.
It sounds like the idea of starting a new career kept you in limbo: safe & cozy. Not needing to take risks is comfortable & why mess with that. If it ain’t broke why fix it right? Wrong!
What is life if not an opportunity for our souls/beings to grow & learn? It sounds like this new career is truly something that lights you up. I mean you read the person’s book & went through all the free content. Nobody does that for free in their spare time. If it weren’t true, you wouldn’t be obsessing over it either.
I’ve heard many speakers say that if a challenging step scares you, you should run towards it. This is your body giving you a signal & opportunity to grow. The worst thing that can happen is you learn from it, but you will be closer to finding what will. The skills & experiences you’ve gathered along the way have prepared you. “What is meant to be yours will never slip you by,” according to Baba Jolie (YouTube Tarot Reader).
You have everything inside of you necessary to succeed. Let’s build momentum. Draft a super quick list of the tasks you’ll need to start this career. Choose the easiest one, set a timer. Don’t think about ANYTHING, countdown 5,4,3,2,1: Conquer it! Move on to two more. Every time you complete a task, high-five yourself in the mirror & congratulate yourself out loud in the 3rd Person (I see you Mel Robbins & Marie Forleo).
Lastly, start your day off with meditation to improve focus & shut off the brain chatter. If you wish, incorporate Vesuvianite, the crystal that is known to:
“release unconscious fears and limiting beliefs. It helps one to develop assertiveness and it’s the timid and overcoming fear of confrontation. It can catalyze the opening of the unconscious, so one can see which old wounds are bad memories that are holding one back, and it allows for the release of these patterns…” -Robert Simmons “Vesuvianite assists in reconnecting the mind to the body & ensuring that one’s thoughts can become reality through aligned action…It helps to align one’s life to one’s truth.”
Affirmation: I surrender my will to the urging of my heart, and I willingly transform my life, aligning the actions I take with the truth that I know.” -Naisha Ahsian
I am literally so unhealthy. I just got an iPhone watch that measures steps and activity & now I have PROOF of how sedentary I am!! It’s so embarrassing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not afraid of hard work & I clean & organize my home both inside & out like a boss.
Yet, I have zero initiative to exclusively exercise. Like, que hueva it’s no fun & feels like a drag on my time. My health matters to me a lot & I want to stay looking hot, but I have no desire to move or sweat.
Querida Lunita, help me get motivated!!!
I feel you sis, during the first part of quarantine,I stayed inside for so long, I had to take pharmacy grade vitamin D & got a prescription from my Doctor to go outside for 10 minutes a day. I knew what I was doing was bad but reality didn’t hit until my doctor was like,“Bitch go outside, air yourself out” LOL
What can I say Huevona, there is no Magic Bullet. Unfortunately, because of modern conveniences we have to actually make a conscious effort to move our bodies. It’s good that you are seeking change before you get sick.
You’re going to have to find a strong WHY? Perhaps what you are focusing on isn’t that important for you. Grab a pen & paper & write out the question “Why do I feel guilty about not exercising?” Keep answering that question over & over & over until you can’t anymore. This will hopefully get you to the thing that will get you off your couch. Reframe that answer into a clear & concise phrase you can easily repeat to yourself throughout the day. Place it on post-it’s around your home.
Lastly, grab yourself some Tiger Iron & meditate with it for 5 min minimum a day. This crystal is known to “assist one in maintaining the necessary will power for giving up bad habits & sticking to diet & exercise programs.”
You got this Huevona! I believe in you!!!
Affirmation: I am strong, energetic, grounded, healthy & whole. -Naisha Ahsian
Affirmations & Quotes taken from: The Book of Stones (Tiger Iron p483) by Robert Simmons & Naisha Ahsian
I’m freaking out. I think my spouse doesn’t find me attractive. They hardly want to be intimate while I wouldn’t mind having it on a daily basis. It makes me sad & lonely & worried that I’m doing something wrong or turning them off. We talk about this often but still nothing consistently has changed. I’m becoming very insecure & physically frustrated. I know they love me & are very loyal but it doesn’t feel like it. They are at a loss as well because they are trying but lately feel frozen, unsure what to try next.
I’m sorry you are feeling unloved and lonely, I hope we can shift you away from those feelings & into joy & wonder. Assuming there isn’t a medical or mental health issue such as hormones, trauma, depression or the like, this is not a one-size-fits-all answer.
Where I’d like to start is by taking the focus off of you & your needs. Sorry Boo-Noo, it’s not all about you. Being in a committed long-term relationship requires us to put our partners’ happiness first on our to-do list. I’m referring to being in a safe, supported & committed relationship where acts of kindness, appreciation & gratitude, despite being on a pendulum, eventually even out. But wait, don’t trip Bien Setsy, I know it sounds counter to what we know about self-care & putting ourselves first etc. When our partner is doing the same thing, they will be filling up our “cups” also. The book “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman goes into greater detail on achieving this. If your partner is open to a relationship reboot, it is a great couples read.
Start by re-focusing on your partner’s needs, likes & dislikes. Accomplishing this by being kind & independent. Being needy will get you nowhere. Focus on all the good moments you can create for your partner before sexy time. Plan fun activities & new experiences that take you both out of mundane routines. This only works if you don’t place expectations on them to reciprocate, that’s not giving unconditionally. This will hopefully remove the pressure off of them to perform. It is possible that the more you’ve been chasing it, the more it gets away from you. Build up a chill vibe & they will soon be seeking you out again. You need to let them come to you untethered.
Don’t expect this to happen overnight. You have to recalibrate old behaviors, reactions & thinking patterns & will take time & patience on your end.
In the meantime, you’ll need to refocus your sexual energy elsewhere like pursuing your own creative interests & hobbies. Running or vigorous exercise (not yoga) can help relieve some of that energy, or leave you so tired it’ll be easy to sleep next to them 😉
But let’s not leave out the ever faithful self-play. If you are new to this, you’re in for a whole new world. Luckily, you’re only a click away from reliable, health based information on the subject.
If you are open to meditation, you can try incorporating the stone Vitalite for meditation & intention setting. It is a “stone of generosity. It gives of itself without hesitation and without limit, encouraging us to do the same. It is a stone of powerful creativity, stimulating one’s imagination and well so that one can receive inspiration and carry one’s visions into manifestation.”
If your partner is open, they can meditate with Vanadinite, which “stimulates creative and sexual energy. It can help one find needed inspiration and the arousal to action. It helps one connect with the animal self and relish the experience of physical life.”
Give this a fair try (3 months at least) & continue to be consistent once you see it working. If nothing changes, I suggest seeking a therapist who focuses on couples & sexual intimacy. Sometimes, these issues go deeper than behavior. It’ll be worth it.
Affirmation Vitalite: I am a foundation of universal vitality, an ever flowing cornucopia of life, love and joy. -Naisha Ahsian
Affirmation Vanadite: I have the energy, vitality, discipline and desire to see my projects through to their successful completion. -Naisha Ahsian
Affirmations & Quotes taken from: The Book of Stones Vitalite (p510) Vanadinite (p506) by Robert Simmons & Naisha Ahsian
Disclaimer: The advice offered herein, as well as any advice offered by email, phone or in person by Saint Lunita Magazine and it’s publisher Las Dras LLC, its employees, agents, principals, members successors and/or assigns is intended for informational purposes only. Use of the column, email or telephone to provide this advice is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. Any advice opinions or views expressed by Saint Lunita Magazine are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed physician or mental health professional. Saint Lunita Magazine, its publisher Las Dras LLC, its employees, agents, principals, members successors and assigns are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions. Saint Lunita Magazine and Las Dras LLC accepts no liability for any situation in your life past, present or future.
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